[Post from Paul] Remembering Pam

I said a few words, this morning, at the end of Pam’s funeral service.  My plan was to share some thoughts with all the folks who were kind enough to come and to say goodbye to the wonderful woman we all love.  I wanted them to know what was on my mind — and now I want all of you who have been kind enough to join us on this journey to know what’s on my mind as well.  You’re welcome to read on if you’re interested in learning the perspective of Pam’s grieving husband:

Statistics tell us that fifty per cent of all marriages end in divorce; so that means that fifty per cent end in death. The ones that end in death, I suppose, are the successful ones.  Our marriage, Pam’s and mine, is one of the successful ones and the only explanation I can give you is that we’ve been showered, each and every day, with the grace of God.  God was the third partner in our union.  God was the ‘other man’ and God was the ‘other woman’.

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[Post from Paul] Gone Fishin’

Gone Fishin'

Gone Fishin’

To all you wonderful, amazing people:

Since Pam’s death early Monday morning, Angelique and I have been very busy.  It’s a big deal planning for a funeral — especially a funeral for a big deal like Pam.   There are decisions to make, details to attend to.  We’re selecting photos and memorabilia, there’s music for the funeral, and music for the wake, there’s a monument to install at the gravesite.   Besides, my daughter has “absolutely nothing to wear!” so she’s dispatched an army of shoppers to look for an outfit.  You can bet that I don’t want to feel left out, so I’ve been fitted for a new suit.

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[Post from Paul] Perpetual Remembrance

Those who sow in tears will reap with cries of joy.

Psalm  126, 5

To the heavy hearted,

My morning, friends, was a walk in the park.  Literally.  I had some business to complete with Tom Johnson at Mt. Auburn Cemetery and afterwards, since the day was fine and I really could use some quiet ‘alone time’, I took a leisurely stroll around the most beautiful park in the universe until I finally came to a stop at the site that will be receiving Pam on Saturday.  It was an emotionally and spiritually refreshing little tour.

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[Post From Paul] Funeral on Saturday

To all you wonderful people:

I spoke, this morning, with Mark Douglass of the Douglass Funeral Home in Lexington MA and, between the two of us, we hammered out arrangements for giving Pam her last goodbye.

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[Perchance To Dream XII : Paul’s Live Blog — Mon 1:23 am] In the Arms of Jesus

Friends, dear, dear, friends:

This morning, Monday September 30, 2013, at 1:10 am, Pamela Vitale Bradford reached the end of her journey of love and sacrifice and surrendered her spirit to the Ever Merciful Father.  On hand and the end were Angelique, myself, my wonderful sister-in-law Carol Bradford and the amazing Nurse Laurie Isaacson — my friend and colleague at PrakashEllenhorn.

Thank you, dear Lord, for her light, and her life, and for the light she brought into the lives of so many — especially her undeserving husband.

I feel relieved for my one-and-only that she’s finished the cup of her suffering and I feel humbled in the presence of her majestic soul.

The angels are lucky to have her…



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[Perchance To Dream XI : Paul’s Live Blog — Sun 9:18 pm] Be Prepared!

Dear Ones,

Over the past two hours, Pam has become more and more bothered by congestion.  We’ve been on the phone with the Hospice nurses and they’ve been supervising me in the administration of Atropine.  Our nurse instructed me to max Pam out on it.  She also asked me to double up on the morphine.  Pam was still pretty agitated so we called again and the nurse helped me figure out how to liquify the Adderall since there’s no way she can swallow a pill.  Along with all of this, Pam’s is breathing at a rate that’s twice what’s normal for her.

Can you guess?  The nurse said she’d hurry right over from Hyde Park.  She told me that she wanted me to be ‘prepared’.

I asked Angelique to come into the bedroom with me.  We sat on the bed and I put my arm around her.  “You know what’s happening, don’t you honey?”

“Of course I do,” she said, “I just didn’t think it would be like this.”

I’m not sure I had any idea at all what it “would be like.”  I’m feeling my way along, bit by bit, because I’m entirely in the dark.

God is good.  All the time.



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[Perchance To Dream X : Paul’s Live Blog — Sun 7:27 pm] Knocking on Heaven’s Door

Pam has never wasted any time thinking about “what happens after”.  She’s always kept her focus on the job at hand.  Right now, though, the ‘job at hand’ is to pass away.  My job, and the job of everyone else who comes by to see her, is to make things as easy for her as possible.

I can see her winding down, step by step.  I’ve been watching the process since she was first diagnosed; but until about two months ago she was doing a really good job of keeping up with us.  Since the end of July, though, the slope down has been getting steeper and steeper.

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