Dear good, kind and loving friends,
Today is the twelfth day of my recovery. If you asked me what has changed over these twelve days, I would tell you that I’ve come to understand my responsibility for my own recovery. It begins with me taking control of where I want to go next. Over the weekend I discovered (mind you, this is not necessarily a scientific fact, nor is it likely to be published in a medical journal) that for every one hour of surgery it will require four hours of recovery. In my case, I had ten hours of surgery so that means I’m forty hours in the hole. How does one replenish the deficit?
For example, if every day I’m only given forty minutes of energy to do all the things I need to do, I would never get out of my trouble. Given the fact that I have no choice but to use those forty minutes to care for myself there’s no way to find time to make up for my ‘recovery debt’. That’s why I’ve been thinking of a way to start a ‘bank’ (did I tell you I work in the world of finance?). So I’ve come to the conclusion that every twenty minutes of expenditure has to be followed by twenty minutes of depository. So, all day long I collect your prayers, your well wishes, and all the gratitude I have for the wonderful people in my life — that way, when it comes time to make my deposit, I have something available to start paying down the debt. If it weren’t for all of YOUR energies, my repository would remain depleted.
This also alows me to give back to all of you. My two hundred and fifty six prayer list friends give me all the energy I need to keep your intentions in my heart.
On other news, all connections with the tyrannical dictatorship that took over my brain have been severed. From now on, we are dealing exclusively with the heart, and with what the heart needs. My heart and I spent the weekend on a ‘clean up expedition’. Just as so many of our young people join conservation projects and are asked to clean up all the debris and all the obstacles to the natural world, I found myself — last Saturday night — on border cleanup. My heart and I were able to successfully remove the obstacles that impede a safe journey. After burying everything that had been in the way, we planted a garden of hope.
By now you’re asking, “Where did she find the hope?”. The hope came from each of you! Every piece of hope you’ve sent my way has become a seed for my garden. My husband has been telling me that he feels the prayers you’ve been making on my behalf as well — he says he feels as if his soul is being bathed in a rolling river of spiritual energy.
I want to remind all of you that two days from now, on Thursday, Paul and I are going to visit my surgeon, Dr. Johnson. He will explain to us what is up next for me. We will be able to work out a strategy for dealing with my ‘recovery deficit’ (since Dr. Johnson is an actual doctor with an actual MD, he might choose to use some other expression). Your acknowledgment of me, and my family, and my daughter is what will grow my garden of hope — and I need lots of hope for Thursday. I can’t ask you enough for your prayers — prayers for good news and prayers for courage to meet the challenges I’m going to face.
Do not doubt for one second that your participatiion and involvement is making a difference in my life. I love you all.