The way we’ve been working it, Angelique and I, is that one of us or the other is with Pamela all through the night. As I mentioned in another post, we’ve gotten into the habit of letting her spend most of her day time in the hospital bed so we can let her sleep overnight in the recliner. That makes it possible for one of us to lie down next to Pam and be near her. Liqa and I take turns and we’ve fallen into the habit, now, of letting Angelique go first so I’m on hand to meet the morning health aide.
Sounds pretty boring, doesn’t it? Well, it is. It’s also exhausting! The thing is, though, now that we’ve both come to terms with the fact that Pam is as ‘out of it’ as she is we’re both feeling waves and waves of affection for her. My crazy wife! For twenty three years! … (what was I going to say?) … oh yeah, for twenty three years I tried to convince her that she didn’t have to knock herself out in order to earn my love, or to earn anyone’s love. Now that she really is ‘knocked out’, love is coming to her like a rolling river — I hope, somehow, she appreciates how easy she is to love. How easy she’s always been.