[Perchance To Dream X : Paul’s Live Blog — Sun 7:27 pm] Knocking on Heaven’s Door

Pam has never wasted any time thinking about “what happens after”.  She’s always kept her focus on the job at hand.  Right now, though, the ‘job at hand’ is to pass away.  My job, and the job of everyone else who comes by to see her, is to make things as easy for her as possible.

I can see her winding down, step by step.  I’ve been watching the process since she was first diagnosed; but until about two months ago she was doing a really good job of keeping up with us.  Since the end of July, though, the slope down has been getting steeper and steeper.

She changes from day to day; but I don’t consider the changes alarming.  She’s simply experiencing one of the many phases of human development.  If I have anything to offer the folks who follow this blog it is this: There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of, and nothing you need to turn away from.  Pam is ‘shutting down’, something that has always been part of the plan, and she’s doing it step by step — just as she’s supposed to.

Just last Thursday, for example, Pam got a visit she’d been looking forward to for some time.  One of the “rosary ladies” who come by every week to pray with Pam, Trish O’Brien and her husband Tom, recently adopted a six year old Ethiopian girl who (as you can see) is a real beauty.  Pam, as you’d expect, purchased a present for little Dureti and was eagerly awaiting the day Trish would come by with her so Pam could present the gift.  You can see the little dolls Pam picked out in Dureti’s hand in the photo below:

Here we see Pam with Sacred Heart's newest parishioner, Dueriti O'Brien who recently arrived here from Ethiopia.

Here we see Pam with Sacred Heart’s newest parishioner, Dureti O’Brien, who has recently arrived from Ethiopia.

The visit thrilled Pam, but it couldn’t have happened any later than it did because she became unresponsive on Friday.  The woman she was three days ago is much more connected to life than the woman she is now.  I see changes, sometimes, on an hourly basis.

Keep in mind, though, that she’s simply carrying on with the assignment God has given her.   From what I can see she’s doing a fabulous job.  I’m proud of her, just as I always have been, and I’m honored to be on hand to help her out from time to time.

None of us, not one single one of us, really knows “what happens after” and, personally, I find speculations about the matter to be tedious.  None of us knows…

…but it won’t be long until Pam knows — really and truly.  Until that time, though, I want her to be surrounded by love.  We’re living in a world of unknowns — but even so, I’m confident that love is ‘just the thing’.

I love you, Pam; and I’m hardly alone in that.  Stay as sweet as you are.

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About captaincatholic

Fifty Eight Year old 'Cradle Catholic'. Married for twenty two years to the magnificent Pam. Father to the unsurpassable Angelique. Parishioner at Sacred Heart Parish in Lexington MA.
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3 Responses to [Perchance To Dream X : Paul’s Live Blog — Sun 7:27 pm] Knocking on Heaven’s Door

  1. Julie Lancaster says:

    My precious Pam,
    What a strange time we live in…. when we can experience the passing of a loved one on the internet. Paul has given us the ultimate gift, sharing your final days and hours with us. The magic of telephone gave me a chance to tell you again how much I have loved you as my little sister. Liqa put me on speaker phone and she reported that as I spoke to you, you clutched the phone to your chest. How blessed am I to know that I could say goodby, even though I am far away. I believe that you have been able to prepare for this passing for so long. I believe you knew what to expect and are now in the process of living out those expectations. I know how sad you are to leave, but I know because you have told me many times that you are being carried by the Lord. There is just one set of footprints in the sand right now, and soon you’ll be carried on the angel wings that we all believe so much in. Sleep well my dearest Pam. May your new horizons be far more t han you could have anticipated and may you rest in peace in the midst of those who are waiting for you. Good night my dearest sweetheart.
    Your loving sister, Julie

  2. Thomas says:

    Amazing to see that Pam continues to give us so much. She will love until her last breath.
    Love to all.

  3. joannemessier says:

    thanks, Paul!!! xoxoxoxoxo to all of you~~~

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