Over the past two hours, Pam has become more and more bothered by congestion. We’ve been on the phone with the Hospice nurses and they’ve been supervising me in the administration of Atropine. Our nurse instructed me to max Pam out on it. She also asked me to double up on the morphine. Pam was still pretty agitated so we called again and the nurse helped me figure out how to liquify the Adderall since there’s no way she can swallow a pill. Along with all of this, Pam’s is breathing at a rate that’s twice what’s normal for her.
Can you guess? The nurse said she’d hurry right over from Hyde Park. She told me that she wanted me to be ‘prepared’.
I asked Angelique to come into the bedroom with me. We sat on the bed and I put my arm around her. “You know what’s happening, don’t you honey?”
“Of course I do,” she said, “I just didn’t think it would be like this.”
I’m not sure I had any idea at all what it “would be like.” I’m feeling my way along, bit by bit, because I’m entirely in the dark.
God is good. All the time.